When my hp beep, my heart race..

when my hp rings.. my heart skip a beat…

I kept waiting for his calls n messages.

i am always elated when he call or message me. I thought I will never feel this way again. The feelings were mutual so what happen to us?

I told him I will give him time and space for him to sort out his thoughts. We are still in contact. He still chats with me.

He always have my moral support in whatever decision he made. I always believed in blessing the person I loved or once loved with happiness. Being with me does not offer them the happiness they wanted, I learnt to let go and wait for the person who felt empty living in a world without me and the meaning of happiness is being with me.

He really make me feel love is in the air… I had the sweetest birthday. Nothing special happen but its really sweet. We had very sweet memories of the week. His birthday is just round the corner yet, I dun think I can do much except wish him happy birthday.

He didn’t mind me being fat and all. He really like me as I am. Yet at times he felt he can’t trust me. I understand that the reason behind. Everyone had their story. So while I am giving him time, I will try to fight for this feeling I had. I decided I want to lose weight.

Yes I had been trying for years. But I never had a target to fight for. I mean people were saying so I will look prettier. I mean come on lah. I am considered pretty now to some people. So how much more prettier does it make. But this time round I am serious I want to lose weight by dieting and exercising. I want to be a girl that is pretty enough to match him. That nobody will comment about me being fat standing next to him. (yes.. u are right he is average built)

Even if you think i am stupid at least now i got a goal to fight for i think i will do a better job. So he is just a motivation.

Really feel like giving them a boxed.

Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I am so irritated!!! I think most of us have a friendster or facebook etc kinda account, where we got connected with our friends.

So along came someone got interested in you course of your photos or otherwise.

These ‘strangers’ got thinks that you are out to make more friends. If someone offers you a friendship izzit a must to accept?

I always believe you can’t choose your classmates, collegues, etc. but Friends are people you can choose… so why should I be so nice to strangers? Ya just because I look sweet on photos I can be so attitude? NO!!! its just that they expect too much from me when they are just basically strangers to me!! I mean someone on the street walks towards u asked for your no. do u give them? U be selective rite? I mean be it you are in pubs or clubs whatever, u choose who u wanna know or more pleasing to you right?

What happen was this guy asked for my MSN which I simply refuse to give. I mean please lah I am not dumbo!!! A lot of people by asking for MSN followed by webcam (if you have) if not your HP no. my MSN already flooded with people I wish to ignore, but lazy to blocked. So I changed my msn account couple of times. This time I like this email addy so I decided I aren’t going to change my account to avoid them. So what to do. Basically just dun give out to any strangers be selective.

Oh.. I sidetracked again.. :P Ok this guy was messaging me requesting for my MSN which obviously was turned down. His reply came back was.. ‘ I am so sad we can only chat by leaving messages here’ I replied him ‘Since you were happier before you gotta know me by leaving messages here. Why don’t you just forget about me so that your life won’t be so sad?’ I mean come on!! I don’t owe u a living neither am I trying to deprive you of your happiness. If its so sad .. just pretend u dunno me!!! I had nothing to lose!!! My good friends are still my good friends. I am happy before I gotta know u I will still be happy even if I don’t get to know you.

so Dear Strangers, I am happy with my life right now. If you can’t stand my attitude you do have a choice you know? In case you forget, let me remind you. You can erase me from your memory data OR bear with my attitude hoping one fine day I decide you aren’t much a stranger. Thanks

Been very long since the last I posted. I really cant believe it. I am like working myself to the brink.

I work from 9am to 10pm daily from Monday to Friday. Then work on Saturday, Sunday even Good Friday. Good grief!!!! Just that shorter hours and sat, sun and gd fri. but still hit 8-10hrs on those days. I was really exhausted!! No choice rushing deadline.

Now finally can take a breath so here’s the pic of my collegue Ms Yeh Weichan and myself.

Hahahahaha y say her full name rite?? Well I like to address her as Ms Yeh but she got married in January. So now she is Mrs Goh. So call her Weichan lor. Very sweet, nice gal.

Speaking of which I attended 2 wedding so far this year both are Mr & Mrs Goh. :P both collegues too.. hahahahaha no.. they not married to each other that’s y there are 2.

I thought of promoting Weichan here talk more about her. Only to realize, she is already taken. So I should promote myself huh?

Er.. next time bah.

My Love For You Have No Holidays

That is the sweetest, most romantic and most touching words a guy say to me. hahahaha its actually sent via sms in “Thai”. Obviously I reply asking what does that means. He called to say that to me in English and explained to me that mean I will never stop loving you.

Well, the love went on vacation for years. Don’t worry for me, the love is not coming back. Hahahaha I think I am fortunate to be loved by those who really ever treasure me. But I always lost out to the ship withholding greater treasure than me.

Looking back I think I have enough memories to last this lifetime. Memories are always sweeter than reality cause you get to choose to think of the good times ignoring the bad times. If you feel like crying just think of the time you got hurt.

(tap..tap..tap…) Now my biggest concern is, what happens when my friends got married too? Life be so lonely. So need to get a guy huh? How to get a guy?

My conversation with two of my gal-friend:-

Gf1: 3 of us got bf lets go dating together.

Me: when the time come then say lah.

Gf1: who knows you might be the 1^st u know

Me: no lah my office filled with gals. Furthermore is not advisable (healthy) to find someone from office.

Gf2: this I agree k.

Me: have it ever cross your mind how to meet guys or know more guys now?

(both turn and look at me like I an alien)

Me: well I mean guys from you know when drinking, like when we in pubs etc can forget about them.

Gf1: aiyooo those type don’t bother lah wolao eh..

Me: work related, supplier lah collegues lah also under “touch-them-not” category

Gf2: true

Me: so where is the best place?

So now think and you realize there is really not much choice once u left school. Worst of all, we were told to concentrate on studies back then so u miss that opportunity how? Turn back the clock?

Now how did I get my past few ex-bf? Well friend’s friend lah, some close online friends’s friend etc. whom your friend guarantee that guy is good.

Still didn’t work out. now what other method left to try? The guy u saw at the bus stop every morning? Or the one in the same bus or train with you every morning?

You notice him around guess what? Think he noticed you too if not how come he don’t change train compartment or timing? Maybe part of him wishes to see you. Hahaha joking lah don’t go confessing to the guy on the bus please.

So till now I am clueless. So days to months, months to years .. I just realize that oh.. from my ex to now already 2years time to move on. Yet how to?

Do I miss him? One of my friend asked me. I reply, “No” actually I am not sure. Sometimes I guess I miss his presence. Seriously I wish him happiness. Being with me is not his ideal happiness. I was hurt in the process but time will heal all pain. I will be happy if people I love are happy. I know my mum wishes to see me get marry I told her if any guy walks to our home ask for my hand and you are ok with it. Just agree for me it doesn’t matter or bother me anymore. I am tired. I will learn to love the guy who loves me enough to ask for my hand. The happiness from being love.